Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Sunday, March 29, 2009


37 years old, and nothing to show for it. Like all dreamers, I too am wishing for a fairy godmother to wave her magical wand and turn me into a successful youth with a BMW parked in my garage.

I have been working for the past 10 years and am still struggling with the day to day issues and a step up the corporate ladder seems a very long, long way. Where have I gone wrong? What is it that I am not doing right? What are my opportunities in life and where are they?

I am not whining over my wasted years, it’s just that I know for a fact the opportunity has never risen for my true potential to be tested. I know the stars are within my reach but my feet are still earthbound.

For my dreams to become reality, my life needs a transformation.

I’ll change my “wait ‘n’ see” attitude.
I’ll change my “do it tomorrow” attitude.
I’ll change my “what people might say” attitude.

I’ll get out of my comfort zone and start taking some risks in life.

One must STOP in the caterpillar journey
for transformation, what we can become.
One must change to a much gooey mess
to undergo metamorphosis and change.

Umur 37 tahun, masih bermimpi. 10 tahun pengalaman bekerja, masih tidak berjaya dalam kerjaya. Apa yang silap, apa yang kurang?

Bukan aku tak bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada, tetapi aku tahu potensi diri aku. Aku mampu pergi jauh dalam kerjaya dan menggapai bintang yang tak pernah aku fikir mustahil untuk digapai. Cuma yang perlu aku lakukan adalah transformasi diri. Berhijrah dari setiap aspek kehidupan.

Hijrah dari sikap “tunggu dan lihat”
Hijrah dari sikap “nanti dulu”
Hijrah dari sikap “malu apa orang kata”
Hijrah dari tempat “keselasaan”
Hijrah dalam “itu” dan “ini”

Ibarat kitaran hidup rerama, dari beluncas ke kepompong dan akhirnya terbang sebagai rerama yang indah.

Suatu Metamorfosis, sebuah transformasi!

Friday, March 27, 2009


“Prevention is better than cure”, a popular proverb but hardly followed by all. Maybe it is our Malaysian nature to have such a “Tidak Apa” (don’t care) attitude.

I loved eating hot and spicy food since young. Sambal belacan (grounded chilies mixed with prawn paste), fried ikan kembong and soy sauce was my favourite combination. The spicier it is the better it was. The number of chili’s increased as the years went by. A meal without chili was not considered a meal.

If only I had taken heed of mak’s nagging on my chili consumption. When I consume spicy food now it burns “both ways”, entry and exit. My stomach can no longer tolerate spicy food. There are times when I think that it will be the death of me……..God forbid!


“Beringat sebelum kena”, selalu kita dengar pepatah ini, tapi jarang sekali kita peduli. Mungkin sudah lumrah kejadian manusia yang mudah alpa dan mengambil mudah semua perkara.

Aku memang suka makan pedas. Lagi pedas, lagi “best”. Seingat aku, waktu aku kecil dulu, aku akan suruh kakak aku gaulkan nasi bersama ikan kembong goreng, sambal belacan dan kicap bila makan tengahari. Ini dah cukup membuka selera makan aku. Sehingga besar, kalau makan nasi, mesti ada sambal belacan. Kalau tak ada sambal belacan, aku akan buat cili api sebagai ulam.

Mak selalu marah tentang tabiat pemakanan aku. Seperti biasa, masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. Sekarang aku dah terima bahana nya. Aku dah tak boleh makan masakan pedas lagi. Banyak masalah yang timbul. Perut aku dah tak boleh bertolak ansur dengan masakan pedas. Kekadang, hati aku berkata yang aku akan mati kerana masalah ini. Na’uzubillah! Minta dijauhkan…….


Aku belajar A,B,C dengan kakak aku. Tempat aku belajar agak strategik. Atas pokok jambu air sambil makan buah jambu air. Setiap kali aku tersilap menghafal, sebiji buah jambu hinggap kat atas kepala aku. Sakit memanglah sakit! Itu yang buat aku malas nak belajar. Bila orang tanya apa cita-cita aku bila besar nanti, aku dengan selamba menjawab,”nak jaga kambing”. Tak payah nak belajar tingi-tinggi!

Di mata keluargaku, aku ni seorang yang kuat berangan, IQ pun kurang kalau nak dibandingkan dengan abang dan kakak aku. Tidak ada sesiapapun pernah meletak harapan yang tinggi terhadap aku didalam akademik mahupun kehidupanku.

Mungkin aku tak setanding mereka didalam akademik, mungkin aku tak sehebat yang lain menjawat jawatan tinggi dan berpendapatan 5 ke 10 angka sebulan. Tetapi aku tetap bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada sekarang. Aku masih ada impian dan saban malam aku nantikan mimpi-mimpi indahku menjadi realiti.

Kwep!kwep!kwep! Betul kata cicak!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009


For the sun that rises every morning.....
For the moon whilst circling it......
For the ray that shines the day......
For the dark that covers the night......
For the sky and all its construction......
For the land and all its population......
For the soul whilst all its perfection......
Allah Subhanallah!

Monday, March 23, 2009


Tulips were among “Mak”’s favorite flowers. As they were not available locally, she decorated our house with artificial tulips. Mak was also a good DIY artist, sometimes she created her own artificial tulips instead of buying it. They looked just like the real ones. When my sister was in United Kingdom (U.K), she would buy Mak back artificial tulips too! Mak’s dream was finally realized when she went to Holland while visiting my sister in the U.K. She was finally able to touch and smell the real tulips. Mak passed away a year later.

Only God knows how much I miss her!

Friday, March 20, 2009

From Kodiang To Nilai

I was born 37 years ago in a small town named Kodiang. It has the best scenery I can ever imagine. With mountains and hills standing so beautiful as the town background, while the river and padi fields lay side by side harmonizing the landscape. The view from my house has the best scenery of all as it is built beside a river, with padi fields laying in my backyard, an a sturdy limestone hill named “Keplu” decorating the horizon.

My parents were teachers and I have a brother and 3 sisters. We are a heavyweight family since we are all big in size. Mak was a good cook and Abah liked bringing us out for good meals. Abah will drive his gigantic “Ford Cortina L”, and we will all squeeze in the car like canned sardines. Most of the time, Kak Norma (my eldest sister) will be left home. So sorry for her!

That was of course when we were young. As we got older, the old car could no longer accommodate us and soon I was also left behind with Kak Norma to look after the house. Being left at behind most of the time has turned me into who I am now, a man who values his privacy!

It was then I noticed that I had a flair in arts and painting. My first sketch was a Looney tune cartoon “Tom and Jerry” at the age of 4 and my mother quickly dismissed my talent by saying that it was my brother’s (never in my life have I seen my brother sketch anything!).

Having my own room and the time helped me to polish up my skills and techniques. “From Kodiang to Nilai” is actually my lifelong collection of my paintings and arts. All the art are uniquely created and they tell their own stories. So much to tell and so little time left!